Comfort food and mounted critters

From the June edition of County Line Magazine

Some things just go together: Burgers and fries, bacon and eggs, comfort food and mounted critters.

It beckons.

A Gladewater greasy spoon has discovered the winning combination. The Silver Spur Cafe on U.S. 80 serves diner fare in the presence of wild things … lots and lots of wild things.

On a Thursday morning, the black bear was situated to pounce on an old man in a cowboy hat. A coyote’s tail dangled above another man’s head. Along the restaurant’s walls were a beaver and otter, raccoon and porcupine, more than a few squirrels and flocks of birds.

An owl froze in midswoop. Two bobcats encircled the waitress who rang up my order, and above them, a mountain lion stretched languidly along a front window.

“Who’s the hunter?” I asked.

“EBay,” she said.

“I don’t know him,” I replied, being slow on the uptake.

“No, eBay. The manager, she got ’em off of eBay,” she said. “Customers donated a few of them.”

Did it take long for the manager to collect everything?

“I really couldn’t say,” the waitress answered. “I’ve only been here six years.”

Not all of the Silver Spur’s critters have met a taxidermist. Two fish tanks are inlaid in the partition between the people who smoke and those who don’t. Swimming in one tank is a whiskery catfish and occupying the other is a pair of turtles.

People can get a look at them any time, day or night. The Silver Spur is a 24-hour operation that serves breakfast, lunch, dinner, midnight snacks and East Texas traditions, according to the menu.

Of course, not even live turtles can save a restaurant if the food’s no good. My breakfast more than passed the test. It was big, cheap, and it was greasy.

There were thick strips of bacon, fluffy biscuits and two enormous egg yolks swimming in their fried whites. No telling how many potatoes had been sacrificed to fill half my plate with hashbrowns.

A waitress played lonesome country ballads on the jukebox, and old men traded stories about their military days and tried to remember whose kin worked for which oilfield company.

The hamburgers are said to be good, too. Order two burgers, onion rings and drinks, and you can walk away for about $12.

When it’s time to leave, you’ll notice a parting gift that is standard among greasy spoons.

The cigarette smoke and grease in the air have mingled to form a powerful new substance. It gets into your clothes and is yours to keep, free of charge, for the rest of the day.